Jack the Giant Slayer (2013)

Like everyone, I do not expect greatness from every film I see; especially not from a Summer movie releasing in early March. I try to look at a movie by keeping in mind who it is playing for and see if it at least manages to do what it set out for. With all due respect to kids, Jack the Giant Slayer is a movie for undemanding kids. We get a good two dozen films like Jack.. every year and they somehow manage to make obscene amounts of money. In my view, these kind of films are the chalta hai fares which are dumped on us despite the makers' understanding that they are of substandard quality; where one-dimensional characters are chalta hai, as long as there is enough visual spectacle acting as a pillow to smother our senses. I almost wrote 'I expected something better from someone like Bryan Singer', but that would have been more appropriate during the release of Superman. That ship has sailed. 

It is time for movies like Jack.. to up the ante. They will soon become a dying breed if they continue to peddle out such mediocrity. We are in the golden era of television; shows like Game of Thrones are many times more spectacular than many of these films put together, and feature immensely superior writing. It is almost embarrassing to pay and knowingly watch something like Jack..  when a better way of spending time is only a few clicks away.

The guy sitting next to me was having his first 3D experience and was understandably excited. I too get curious every time an auteur attempts a movie with an extra dimension, but I would still prefer my movie the usual way. I'm afraid the word 'usual' may not mean the same anymore. See Life of Pi was gorgeous but it would have been so even in 2D. Sitting through these mega-budget Computer Generated orgy has become such a chore that even the occasional good ones are ruined. Unfortunately, I think we have reached a point where bitching about the futility of 3D is no longer in vogue. I would go out of my way to watch a 2D version but every cinema house around has changed allegiance. Enough of my troubles.

Jack the Giant Slayer does manage to get a couple of things right. Nicholas Hoult is pretty likable and Eleanor Tomlinson will have your attention. But the writing lacks the wit and humor necessary to keep one hooked. At times, it becomes so unengaging that you wouldn't mind if everyone just died and the lights came on. Like I said in the previous paragraph, the chalta hai apathy creeps in ever so often and Singer goes all Valkyrie on us. I have always believed that Fantasy should use CGI as a tool and not as a handicap; this movie thinks otherwise. 

At a time when everyone is re-imagining children's fairy tales for adults- filled with sex, profanity, violence and anachronistic soundtrack- there's this quality about Jack that makes it want to remains true to its roots. It is both a commendable exercise and something worth criticizing. It is a film for kids and I think it lacks the magic ingredient to keep the adults invested. 

The music is noticeably uninspiring. Maybe its the source material itself which is to blame here. A princess with an itch for adventure, a poor peasant boy with a heart of gold, an ignorant King, a scheming minister, giant creatures ugly enough to let us know we are supposed to hate them.. Jack the Giant Killer has it all. It is as silly as you'd expect a film titled "Jack the Giant Killer" to be. If you are still interested, remember to take the kids along. They'll probably have fun cause they don't know better. Sorry, kids. Oz: The Great and Powerful releases next week and it wouldn't make a difference which one you choose to go to. They are all just the same. Others can happily skip this without thinking twice.